Wednesday, January 14, 2009

New beginnings

Here I am at San Francisco Bread Company once again toiling over science journal after science journal trying to finish this proposal. This would now be my eighth version of my proposal that I just emailed in to my professor.

Procrastination has once again set in and I find myself daydreaming. I decided to put my daydreaming to better use by blogging it out.

A larval caterpillar spins a Chrysalis, sometimes mistakenly called a cocoon, in its final larval stage. It incubates for 12 days and then emerges as a very different looking, adult version of this same animal. Anyone who has ever seen this take place, would agree that it seems impossible for a caterpillar to go in looking like it does and come out in its adult butterfly form.

As I mentioned in my blog from yesterday, butterflies and caterpillars are my life these days and I find myself contemplating every stage and aspect of their life histories.

I talked to my boyfriend on the phone earlier this afternoon as he scurried around packing for the youth retreat he will be a director for this weekend. Ironically, the name of the retreat is chrysalis. The idea of the retreat is that youth arrive for the weekend as a caterpillar. Chrysalis acts as their well “chrysalis” preparing and forming them into future leaders and adults in the church. They leave chrysalis as a Butterfly.

I find connections like these in my life on a daily basis. They act as little reminders that God has a bigger plan for me. It seems as though he is saying everything you do brings fulfillment to my plan.

Despite my busy hectic schedule, I pray that God will lead me and I will follow him every step of the way.

Last night, I met with my student pastor and three fellow college students (including my younger brother Tyler) who preach in our student ministries. I find myself being drawn to the ministry and have been praying that God will give me the strength to do the things that he calls me to do. I find that my eye for detail would be more beneficial in ministry than in a field in Costa Rica.

I think about the Barlow Girls song “Surrender”. She says that God is whispering gently to her to “surrender” her dreams for those things that God is calling her to do. I pray that although I might feel as though we are surrendering, we are actually gaining more in return.

I know that in his time, I will know what he wants me to do with my life. I know too that he will give me the strength and tools I need to do what he asks of me. And although It may seem impossible as I look at myself in the mirror, I know that God is every day transforming me into a butterfly and in him only do I trust my flight.

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